Idol Update-Top 9 April Fools perform on 4/1/08
We immediately got the idea that this would be a strange night when Ryan kicked off the show with his April Fool joke on us…..pretty LAME Ryan, next year give it more than 12 seconds of thought and go for something funny or even entertaining.
Dolly Parton week-subtitled “Let’s grow older gracefully.” Dolly has always been one of those likeable celebrities, larger than life but still somehow just plain folks. I give her credit-at least she has not joined the ranks of celebs with scary facelifts gone wrong (think Bruce Jenner, Kenny Rogers, and Priscilla Presley….) If she’s had any work done, she didn’t get it done at the Dollywood Wal-Mart. My only observation is that her lips reminded me of a hebephrenic schizophrenic at a state hospital-applies her lipstick by running past it and getting a vivid fuchsia stripe from ear to ear. She’s always been a caricature of herself, and laughs about it saying there is nothing natural about her from her wigs to her acrylic nails (only about 3 inches long last night…) How does one go to the bathroom with fingertips armed with blades like that?? But I digress…so many things to wonder about, so little time.
Have to offer some helpful advice to the judges this week, too.
Simon-get a haircut or go with the full Frankenstein look and have the neck bolts installed. I don’t know what’s up with the middle part in your hair, but it ain’t working.
Paula-sticking a silk flower in your aging cleavage is not a fashion trend anyone will adopt.
Randy-yo dawg yo check it out baby so listen man…PLEASE learn to speak English. Every week it’s harder to comprehend what you are trying to say. The only time you make sense is when you are dropping names…
Now let’s get on with it:
Brooke White-SHUT UP BROOKE, I don’t want you to stand there and agree or disagree with the judge’s comments word for word. You have already performed and you’re done for the evening-smile, nod, move along. Performance was as expected-she really only has one style, although I did not understand or care for the Elvis sneer she had going last night. And when you told Paula how lovely her hair looked, I heard a loud sucking noise…Can you sing BROWN-NOSE?
David Cook-interesting that Idol granted him the scripted opportunity to explain his “borrowed” arrangements of Eleanor Rigby and Billie Jean and explain this his arrangement of Little Sparrow was an original. Since he’s been accused of stealing arrangements for 2 weeks now, I guess they wanted to let him address it publicly, but in a safe forum so they can push him through to the finale without a hint of scandal. I liked him tonight-glad he got a haircut-a bit less Ed Grimley and a bit less Mullet-man although there was still one tuft sticking straight up from the middle of his scalp…but the facial scruff??? Has he put on a couple of pounds or has the facial hair changed his appearance that much? He’ll always be the Season 7 Weeble to me.
Ramiele Malubay-little Princess Lip Gloss may be heading back home to Lip Smackers Palace this week. She’s done nothing special for a number of weeks and it’s time to recognize that this is all there is from this girl. I see her in the bottom 3, probably getting the boot on Wednesday.
Jason Castro-Stoner Dread-Man is piddling out, too. He’s reached as far as he can reach and he sounds pretty much the same every week, in spite of the theme. He’s cute and likeable, but he can’t possibly win. Bottom 3 this week, probably safe.
Carly Smithson-I still like her best. I loved her performance of that song, thought she sounded better than Dolly and that song (Here You Come Again) was better without the country twang. Seemed more at ease this week than last (I loved hearing that her agony last week was due to a girdle she wore to look thinner-it was not staying in place and she was miserable. I think that makes her one of us….a real live person) Although I always agree with Simon and think the contestants should suck it up if he’s harsh-I thought he was pushing the envelope when he asked who was dressing her and that she needs to look more like a star….I thought she looked mortified. She looked ordinary in her black top and red pants-certainly no worse than Ramiele in her granny sweaters every week. Frankly, I don’t think that she should have been singled out-they all look like crap lately and need someone to dress them to look like pros. My fashion tip for Carly is that the tattoo sleeve may be a huge source of pride, but you need to cover it up with long sleeves-that face on your arm is distracting and old ladies like me really have issues with tattoos…and it’s old ladies like me that are voting for you!!!!! Win first, and then show off the tats all you like. I think she has a beautiful face and voice.
David Archuleta- as always, wonderful, cleverly selected another ballad and sure outsang everyone else. Not very interesting or exciting to watch though. I like him, not sure if I can see him winning it all…..or if he should……
Kristy Lee Cook-what the heck was that exchange between Kristy Lee and Ryan about her French Pedicure??? “I did it myself” Who cares?!?? And WHY does he know what a French Pedicure even is?!?? Oh, wait…never mind...
Her performance was ok, she looked nice…she really is not that good, and yet she somehow manages to stay on the show week after week after week….some sort of plot by the Republicans….possibly involving a stargate and time travel. She’s never going home-even after the finale, she’ll be crouching on the stage and singing crap that no one wants to hear…and someone will be voting for her to continue. I’ll say she’s in the bottom 3. but she’s ALWAYS in the bottom 3 and it clearly means nothing when it comes to this Teflon-coated country Barbie
Syesha Mercado-another constant disappointment. This girl is just not nearly as talented as she thinks she is. Choosing “I Will Always Love You” and singing "Dolly’s version"?….Oh COME ON-you were hoping to hear a favorable comparison to Whitney and you know it. NOPE, you’re not Whitney…not even close…..I think her time is up, although she is the only contestant of color left (assuming Ramiele gets the boot as expected)…that may save her for a while longer if anyone thinks that racism is an issue. After listening to her for this many weeks, I’m not sure she should be staying even if she is a chartreuse cyclops dwarf with alien/human DNA who has a cure for cancer. I put her in the bottom 3…unless I’ve already put in the bottom 3 and then she’s 4th from the bottom.
Michael Johns-liked his voice-seemed to actually make an effort this week-may have rehearsed this a few times before he wandered on stage and performed. Thought that his “look” was quite strange.. the jacket and ascot tie after weeks of jeans and t-shirts….but then finding out he was a long term fan of Dolly’s was kind of a surprise, too. I honestly thought he oversang, but the judges loved him so I could POSSIBLY be wrong about that.
Bottom 3 this week…
Ramiele
Jason
Syesha
(Kristy Lee is a given-it’s almost an honorary thing with her-meaningless since she will not be sent home anyway)
I feel pretty sure that Ramiele will be going home this week….we’ll see
